Strong enough to catch me

Carrie Bradshaw. We all have a little Carrie in us.

Moving to a new city for love. Endless shoe addiction. Keeps up with her tight-knit group of friends. Aspires for more in her career. Falls in love with the nice guy. Leaves the nice guy. Illustrates her own path. Endures heart aches and pain. Meets Mr. Big. And so much more…

Carrie lives in all of us.

But the one of my favorite Carrie moments is this:

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This was the time when Carrie was discovering what she wanted from and in a relationship. Figuring out who complements her. And most importantly, someone strong enough to catch her.

Have you ever felt this way? I have. 

There was no way I could end 2018, without mentioning the man that was strong enough to catch me and how that has impacted my life.


I have been given labels.

Too independent

Too strong

Too nice

Too bossy

Angry black woman

Selfish

Inauthentic 

The labels come from my past. People who decided I was “too” much of something for them to handle. Those who wanted to highlight the bad in me versus praise the good.

Of course they would say wonderful things about me during our times together. But they were mostly physical compliments. And I didn’t realize that until years later.

I began to think that I was the problem. Why dates or relationships were not working. I thought about the words they used to describe me. Then it hit me.

They were not strong enough for me.

Over the years I mistaken arrogance for confidence. Materialistic traits for stability. And debates as intelligence.

When I met my fiancé I was finally able to let go and be free. Fall and feel safe that I was going to be caught well before I hit the ground. I never felt this before. 

He is my partner and best friend before anything else. He is the one who highlights and lifts me up. Complements my mind, body and soul. Yes, Anita!

He tells me, I require a certain type of partner. Someone who is not afraid of the challenge. Someone not afraid to take a step back and let me shine. Someone not looking to steal accomplishments from me. He tells me, this is him.

Once I encountered the person who was strong enough to carry everything, I became weightless. Burdens became easier. Days became longer. Life became fuller.

I tell people when you are looking for your partner in life, look for someone who can catch you at your heaviest. And not weight heavy. At life’s heaviest moments.

That is the person who will be with you until the end.

Let this new year be the chance for you to look at friendships, partnerships and relationships differently. How are they complementing you? Supporting you? Challenging you?

Put those qualities over the things that will fade over the years.

So to my love Julian. Thank you for being strong enough to catch me. Thank you for letting me be me. And thank you for being you.

~JY

 

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