Let go of your timelines

Two years ago today, I walked into what I now know as forever. I had a first date with someone I now call my life partner, my Husband. There was something special about this person. I couldn’t quite put my finger on. But I knew this date and person would be different from the rest.

Throughout my adult life, I’ve always been able to assess situations, with my intuition, or that gut feeling. Whether it is work, friends, or relationships, I’ve typically known when things are off or heading the wrong direction. And despite smoke flying around me, no fire, I still stayed on a course I knew was not meant for me. And as much as I cast blame on others for “holding me back,” I can only hold myself responsible for my part in that life chapter.

In your lifetime, people, things, tasks, projects, and so much more will try and take you off your course. Sometimes you might need a small kick, but let that be it. Do not let anything take you away from what you vision your end goal to be. When I sat down at the small cocktail table on our first date, I made sure I was very clear about what I was trying to accomplish in life.

At work, I got tapped on the shoulder for a project that could propel me in a different career direction. I said no. When a friend consistently began to show a side I am unfamiliar with, I didn’t let that go. Stay on your course. Now the direction you have visioned for yourself might not be right for you, but eventually, you will figure that out. Remember the small kicks. Listen to those.

I was a timeliner. I would put time stamps, or age, on things like it was the due date. “I’ll start writing my book when I am 40”, “I will ask for more money at work when I have kids,” or “I will do this project now because when I am older, it might not work.” I had narratives for everything, at still do at times. All that was doing was taking me off of my course — fogging my vision so I couldn’t see a clear path. Stop timestamping yourself.

I had no clue that November 7, 2017, marked the day I first laid eyes on my forever partner. But when I walked out of that “meeting,” because he will tell you it was like a job interview, my instincts were woken. And it was a positive feeling. I didn’t let the “You just met him” take over my feelings. I just sat in bliss. And then I carried on with my course.

You will know when the good moments are happening in your life. But you will completely miss them if you are searching for the perfect moment or time. Or if you are focusing on the bad versus the good. And especially if you are putting a timestamp on whatever you are trying to achieve. Just let go. You never know what will happen.

November 6, 2017, he was a stranger. The next day he was not. April 2017, my current role at work, aka dream job, was non-existent. I was asked to build it out. September 2017, I stepped into a position I created for myself. March 2019, I had the phrase “Black Wife Life” come to me in a dream. Eight months later, I have an organic social following of almost 22,000 and getting ready to open an online store. If I had listened to my negative self-talk, this project would have never seen the light of day.

Let go of your timelines. Be open to change and difference. Take a leap of faith. Listen to that dream. Go on that date. Remove that person from your life. Ask for more money at work. And most importantly, stay on your course. The right course.