We turned on the latest Netflix binge because that is what social media told us to do. Let’s face it; we watch whatever is trending. Whenever a show repeatedly shows up in memes and hashtags, that’s a show you will end up watching. And we did.
It was probably 35-40 minutes into the show. When Lauren leaned her head to the side and said, “Cam…I think I love you,”, and he says, “I love you.” I lost it. Completely lost it.
All the emotions of being a single black female in Atlanta came rushing back to me at one moment. Lauren’s story was relatable. Even though she didn’t say this, I knew what it was like dating in Atlanta—dating Black men in Atlanta. I kept seeing myself through her eyes as she was explaining her very strong black views and how she has never dated a white man.
Here is the narrative that went through my head as she was sharing her dating story.
Damn, I just wanted someone to love me. I wanted to be someone’s priority. Someone’s everything. Why can’t I be happy with someone?
Next thing I know, my Husband was wrapped around me. Holding me so tight, and he just let me cry. “I know it was hard,” is what he said to me. He understood why I was so emotional.
Dating in Atlanta was rough for me. Really rough. I had my first major heartbreak, and I lost who I was after that. I kept running into guys who were not for me, and I would stay. And be miserable. It was terrible.
And although I am so incredibly happily married, the pain from wanting to be loved so bad when someone didn’t love you back still lingers when you see or hear a familiar situation.
Lauren was a 32-year-old Black single woman in Atlanta. And she was tired. I knew exactly what that was like. It was the SAME tired single Black female. I left Atlanta 3 weeks before my 30th bday. And it wasn’t until a few weeks before my 32nd birthday that I finally felt like I found the love that I was supposed to have.
But it was tough even to make it to this point. And what I love so much about my Husband is that he understands this. He gets how hard it is out here for women, especially Black women. It’s rough. The dating scene is not always in favor of Black women. It feels like we get the short end of the stick. The other shoe still drops for us.
But Lauren did something different with her dating style and choice. I did something different with a new focused dating mindset. My Husband will tell you that our first date felt like a job interview. It was. And her change, the show, brought her to the man that will love her with everything he has. I saw it in his eyes when he said, “I love you” in response to Lauren’s “I think I love you.” His emotion is what made me cry. That look is one any woman would want to see from her man. We got to witness it before she even was able to. And it was so damn beautiful.
At that moment, when she finally let go of whatever she was holding on to, she was able to breathe again. But a new air this time. The air of someone who will love her for all her days.
All of these emotions came from episode 1. The FIRST DAMN episode. Like what was the rest of the season going to bring me? It brought me a lot.
What I love the most is how Cameron loves her. He is aware of the challenge ahead and what is in front of him. But he also sees a woman who is scared because of past situations. He says this all without having to say it. You see it through his actions. His words and how he makes you feel, yes, you, on the other end of the TV, and over a year later, how much he loves Lauren.
After my tears dried up, I said this to my Husband, “Man, it was so hard out here. And I thank God every day for you. Because I knew you were out here. Just like Lauren knew Cam was out here. We just had to be patient and wait, and we would recognize him when we see (or hear) him.”
Love is Blind was a fantastic show to watch. I can understand why it’s a consistent trending topic on Twitter. I expected it to be a we-will-finish-this-in-one-weekend show. But I did not expect to be crying my eyes out before episode 1 was even finished. I knew Lauren found her forever, and I was so excited to watch it unfold. But at the same time, I felt a quick sense of that pain that she probably endured to make it to the real beginning. My beginning.
If you haven’t checked it out, watch Love is Blind on Netflix. I wonder what emotions it will bring up for you.
P.S. All gifs are homemade from my TV with love 🙂